Take What You Get and Don't Throw a Fit

Last night we had dinner with family and I learned something from my 3-year old niece and my 5-year old nephew. They have a saying at their preschool: "Take what you get and don't throw a fit." This seems unusually apropos for toddlers who fight over who gets the larger snack, the softer blanket, or first ride on the swingset during playtime. As adults, however, I think we forget that we also usually act like unruly children when someone tries to thwart our desires and wants.

What I like about this little saying is that it immediately hones in on the Buddhist concept of living in the moment and not letting your emotions and desires take over. All we have is the present moment whether it's good or bad ("take what you get"). We should embrace that moment and not let our desires about how we think the moment should be get in the way of how the moment actually is ("don't throw a fit").

Whenever we "throw the fit" it's because we're jealous or envious that someone has something we want or think we need. We get obsessive about things we don't have that we think we should have. It is rooted in our innate fear that we won't be adequately provided for--that someone else will get the stuff we're entitled to. We always forget that there's enough for everyone. It's not a zero sum game. Just because someone else has it doesn't mean there won't be enough of it for me.

From a Christian perspective, this is why the 10 Commandments warn about coveting your neighbors possessions--it only brings unhappiness. Jesus addresses this worrying about what others have and we don't have and whether we will be adequately provided for in the parable of the birds of the air and the lilies in the field (Matthew 6:25-34). In the parable Jesus talks about how the bird of the air and the lilies of the field do not spend their time worrying about what tomorrow will bring. Can worrying about what you will eat (or what you want but don't have) add a single hour to your life or a single moment of happiness, Jesus asks. Or does the worrying and desiring only bring unhappiness. "Do not worry about tomorrow," Jesus says, for "tomorrow will take care of itself." And if God provides for the birds of the air and the lilies of the field, will not God provide more so for you.

So, live in the moment: take what you get and don't throw a fit. Throwing the fit will only bring unhappiness. This is the heart of the Buddha's Noble Truths: life is suffering, suffering comes from attachment to things and unfulfilled desires, happiness comes from not letting the emotions and energy that is tied to those desires and attachments keep us from living in the present moment.