Take What You Get and Don't Throw a Fit

Last night we had dinner with family and I learned something from my 3-year old niece and my 5-year old nephew. They have a saying at their preschool: "Take what you get and don't throw a fit." This seems unusually apropos for toddlers who fight over who gets the larger snack, the softer blanket, or first ride on the swingset during playtime. As adults, however, I think we forget that we also usually act like unruly children when someone tries to thwart our desires and wants.

What I like about this little saying is that it immediately hones in on the Buddhist concept of living in the moment and not letting your emotions and desires take over. All we have is the present moment whether it's good or bad ("take what you get"). We should embrace that moment and not let our desires about how we think the moment should be get in the way of how the moment actually is ("don't throw a fit").

Whenever we "throw the fit" it's because we're jealous or envious that someone has something we want or think we need. We get obsessive about things we don't have that we think we should have. It is rooted in our innate fear that we won't be adequately provided for--that someone else will get the stuff we're entitled to. We always forget that there's enough for everyone. It's not a zero sum game. Just because someone else has it doesn't mean there won't be enough of it for me.

From a Christian perspective, this is why the 10 Commandments warn about coveting your neighbors possessions--it only brings unhappiness. Jesus addresses this worrying about what others have and we don't have and whether we will be adequately provided for in the parable of the birds of the air and the lilies in the field (Matthew 6:25-34). In the parable Jesus talks about how the bird of the air and the lilies of the field do not spend their time worrying about what tomorrow will bring. Can worrying about what you will eat (or what you want but don't have) add a single hour to your life or a single moment of happiness, Jesus asks. Or does the worrying and desiring only bring unhappiness. "Do not worry about tomorrow," Jesus says, for "tomorrow will take care of itself." And if God provides for the birds of the air and the lilies of the field, will not God provide more so for you.

So, live in the moment: take what you get and don't throw a fit. Throwing the fit will only bring unhappiness. This is the heart of the Buddha's Noble Truths: life is suffering, suffering comes from attachment to things and unfulfilled desires, happiness comes from not letting the emotions and energy that is tied to those desires and attachments keep us from living in the present moment.

Thich Nhat Hanh Says It Best

Below is today's post from Tricycle's Daily Dharma. The Daily Dharma quotes Thich Nhat Hanh who is basically saying what the Dalai Lama says (included in my May 24 posting). The Buddhists seem so accepting of our Christian tradition and encourage us to stay with it, incorporating aspects of Buddhism that work for us. That's what I'm trying to achieve with this blog--staying true to Christianity while enriching our tradition with Buddhist wisdom.



June 7, 2009Tricycle's Daily Dharma

Bring Your Spiritual Traditions Together

Many Westerners attracted to Buddhist practice have abandoned their own spiritual traditions. They reject the churches and clergy of their own traditions because they feel constricted and uncomfortable with the attitudes and practices they have encountered there. They have suffered within their own tradition and so have sought another. They approach Buddhist practice with the hope of replacing their own tradition and may wish to break away from their own tradition forever.

According to Buddhist wisdom, such wishing is in vain. A person severed from her own culture and traditions is like a tree pulled out by the roots. Such a person will find it hard to be happy. Buddhist practice can offer effective means to heal, reconcile, and reunite with one’s blood and spiritual families, in order to discover the precious gems in one’s own traditions. Thanks to the practice, people will see that Buddhism and their own spiritual tradition have many things in common, and therefore it is not necessary to reject their own spiritual tradition. They will see that there are things that need to be transformed in Buddhism as well as in their own tradition.

–Thich Nhat Hanh, from Teachings on Love (Parallax Press)

What Does Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture Have To Do With Christianity and Buddhism?

Each recent Memorial Day in Kansas City, the Kansas City Symphony has performed a free concert at the foot of the National World War I Museum at Kansas City’s Liberty Memorial. It’s quite an event—this year reportedly drawing about 50,000 persons. The concert has always ended with Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture with real canons sounding their appropriate parts at the end, followed by a stunning fireworks display. I suspect that Kansas City is not unique—that the Overture receives repeated performances across the USA every Memorial Day and 4th of July.

To a society that eschewed French Fries in favor of Freedom Fries, it’s curious to me that a piece of Russian musical culture commemorating the defense of Moscow against Napoleon’s invading forces is so engrafted upon the patriotic conscience of Americans. Why are we so willing to embrace this cultural symbol of our Cold War nemesis (who in fact at times was a legitimate threat to our safety—witness the Cuban Missile Crisis), yet feel so threatened as Christians when confronted by a compassionate, peaceful and tolerant religion such as Buddhism?

And as long as I’m posing questions, let me tee up another. The fireworks display was unbelievable and undescribable. But even lacking a description on my part, you probably believe me, not only believe that the fireworks display actual happened but also believe the wonder and grandeur of it. Why, then, is it so hard for us (me especially) to believe in Christ’s resurrection so wonderfully described in the Gospels and New Testament Epistles?

What is Interstices?

Interstices (in TER stuh seez) derives from the Latin word interstitium, inter- meaning between, –stet or –stes meaning standing: i.e., standing between. I stand between Christianity and Buddhism as an Episcopalian whose journey has been, and continues to be, enriched by Buddhism. This blog is a platform to explore the common space between Christianity and Buddhism.

By definition, interstices means the space between things, especially a small or narrow space between closely-positioned objects, such as the small crevices between sedimentary layers in rock or mineral formations. The word can also refer to a brief moment of time between events. Both these connotations (a small space or a brief moment of time) have spiritual dimensions for me.

I like the concept of space because for me it is tied to a central concept of Buddhism. In Buddhist meditation practice, one attempts to create mental and emotional space and transcend the bounds of ego. There’s a great metaphor in the Buddhist tradition that explains the difference between true self and ego as the difference between space and the walls of a room. The walls represent the confining strictures of ego, and the space represents the true, expansive and boundary-less nature of self. Throw something, such as paint, and it will stick to the wall but cannot stick to the space. It’s a metaphor for how pain and suffering is a construct of ego but not true self. Life’s sufferings stick to the ego, like paint sticks to the wall, but cannot stick to or harm the true self, just as paint can’t stick to space. Suffering and pain are universal human experiences and articulating a cogent, meaningful and compassionate response to it is one of the great calling of all religious traditions, including both Christianity and Buddhism, and it is something I will explore in this blog.

The word interstices can also refer to a brief moment of time between two events and—like the concept of space just discussed—this is also a good metaphor for spirituality living. Buddhism, especially in meditation practice but really at all times of existence, encourages us to live solely in the present moment, in that very brief moment of time between the moment that just passed and the moment that is just about to become. Spiritual living is living in the very brief moment of the present now, between the immediate past and the immediate future. Christianity, especially as expressed in the Anglican/Episcopal tradition, has a concept that I refer to as the “sanctification of time” (a term coined by others that I have gladly co-opted) that I will write about in future postings, exploring the biblical passages and liturgical traditions that beckon us to live in the present moment.

In terms of a theme for this blog, and the metaphor provided by the word interstices, the key here is the small space or the brief moment. To the extent that something separates Christianity and Buddhism, it’s not a chasm but something quite small. My vision for this blog is best stated by the Dalai Lama who several years ago when speaking at the Ethics for the New Millennium Conference in Edinburgh Scotland urged Christians and Muslims not to convert to Buddhism but rather to embrace the teachings of compassion and peace in their own traditions. “All major religions carry the same messages,” he said: “messages of love, compassion, forgiveness, tolerance, contentment and self-discipline. I have Muslim friends, Christian friends. All have these same values.”

I am a Christian expressing my faith through a particular strain of Anglicanism practiced in North America known as the Episcopal Church. Buddhism, especially Tibetan Buddhism, has richly informed my religious and spiritual experience and encouraged me to reach deeper into the spiritual teachings of my own Christian tradition. My primary blog audience is Christians, to show what a rich heritage there is in Buddhism and how it can inform and enrich the Christian experience without sacrificing core Christian beliefs, experiences or traditions. However, I also reach out to Buddhists and non-Christians (or lapsed Christians) to show that Christianity is also a rich heritage especially when viewed through a spiritual-existential lens that focuses on right practice and right action (orthopraxis) as opposed to focusing on true doctrine or true belief (orthodoxy). In this respect, you may find some of my postings a contemporary and spiritual apologetics to defend what I believe to be the core messages of Christianity from the screeds from certain voices in Christianity that are shutting others out rather than embracing them and welcoming them in.

So, in these postings I hope to explore these common themes of love, compassion, peace, forgiveness, tolerance, respect for the dignity of all beings, meditation, spiritual practice and whatever else comes to mind. If you’re reading this inaugural posting, I hope you find the journey fruitful.

Instead of the differences that divide us, may we embrace those common elements that bind us together as members of the global community and seekers on the path.